Untitled

fading
somewhere past paper thin

wisps of mourning
unreclaimed images

Many of my poems recently have been starting our long; I let them sit and then find myself stripping away words and lines that seem to clutter the feelings that first prompted me to write. Some moments I think I could write more without disturbing the essence if I were a better poet. Other moments, it seems just right.

13 thoughts on “Untitled

  1. Maarit Suokas-Alanko's blog

    Your short poem touched me again. I’ve noticed myself going towards the form of poem, though I feel I can’t call myself a ‘poet’. It is something about distilling the essence… the empty space that allows discovery. Loving the openness that happens with less words.

    Reply
  2. appletonavenue

    This one seems just right. I really like it (and your other poetry as well). I used to do something similar with my novel writing..I’d put in all these details and specifics, and when I revised it was usually to delete large portions, sometimes whole chapters. I think it’s a natural progression.

    Reply
  3. seeingm

    “I have made this letter longer, because I have not had the time to make it shorter.” – Blaise Pascal (1623-1662)

    Brevity can be very beautiful, but it does take time to whittle and hone down to the bare bones leaving just the magic of meaning in essence. I tend to let it spill and do not craft as much as my editor would like 🙂 (that would be me). It can be a complex process to be simple. -x.M

    Reply
    1. bussokuseki Post author

      Absolutely wonderful quote, thank you so much for sharing it.

      I was at a weekend workshop recently on the Zen priesthood and forms of practice. As we discussed and practiced them, this idea of simplicity through complexity kept arising. It is a wonderful, beautiful truth, and I am so glad you spoke it here. Blessings~

      Reply
  4. johnnycrabcakes

    Indeed. I find that much of my work lately is the work of pruning, winnowing. I have always wanted to write long epic pieces, but alas, it seems that is not my lot. Almost everything longer that I do (even just long lines) I am not happy with until I chop it down and down…

    I love especially that you have tagged this “dukka.” Funny how much we must let go of what we are trying to say in order to truly speak it.
    You speak it very well, indeed.

    Reply
    1. bussokuseki Post author

      Thank you, Johnny, for your visit and such a heartfelt response. I have the same experience, too, with lines. Too long, too long…

      I love the reframing in your comment: how much we must let go of what we are trying to say in order to truly speak it. It is quite beautiful and full of wisdom, I think. I am grateful you put it just so…

      Be well, my friend~

      Reply
    1. bussokuseki Post author

      Isn’t it? I find the impulse, when the core is compelling is to want to say more, to expand…as if it would add something. I think the process, too, means something… Thank you, as always, for your visit. Be well~

      Reply

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