5 thoughts on “Summer Haiku #1”

1. Francina July 29, 2013 at 5:27 am

   beautiful, I like the feel of all returning towards serenity in your ku.
   groetjes, Francina

   Reply ↓
2. pi314chron July 20, 2013 at 10:40 pm

   Like many of the best haiku, yours is multilayered with riches! On a more personal level, though, please forgive me for using your haiku in a rather mundane way! I’m trying to convince my wife that the Moon is responsible for the lackadaisical manner I’ve been approaching the task of boxing up our things for a move to a new house. So far, she’s not buying it! 🙄

   -R-

   Reply ↓
3. Bill July 20, 2013 at 9:09 pm

   Great images in this one–the moon ascending as ambition dies.

   The final word, “withers,” sets the tone of the poem. I’ve been having fun playing with it by substituting other words to achieve an entirely different effect and meaning. For example, “soars,” “returns”, “revived”, “rests”, “awakens”, etc.

   Excellent poem.

   Reply ↓
4. m lewis redford July 20, 2013 at 10:04 am

   beautifully [not-crafted] crafted (… found): I like the contrast between the first and third lines – the mirroring, almost – but there is no sudden cutting, just the slow process through the thick air; one of the best haiku I have read in a long long time through the thickness of air

   Reply ↓
   1. bussokuseki Post authorJuly 20, 2013 at 12:32 pm

      No cutting possible today, these weeks, in the air or in haiku…

      I am touched and blessed by your comment.

      Reply ↓